This is the perfect product for when reality just isn’t realistic enough. These sunglasses supposedly offer up better clarity and color in your everyday life, just like an HD TV. To be specific, they promise to “make the world come alive in brilliant, defined colour like never before! Crystal clear images so rich and vivid, you won’t believe your eyes!”
Wait one second, a product which “enhances colours” and makes us question what we see with our very eyes? This whole pitch is starting to sound suspiciously like a drug deal. We think we’ll just wait for the Blu-ray glasses.
4. BioDisc
Introducing the BioDisc, a glass disk which, at $560, had better produce some astonishing claims. Don’t worry though, it delivers: this device supposedly generates a “catalytic conversion of energy” which extends shelf life of meat and vegetables, improves taste, maximises body energy, enhances the immune system, calms and balances, assists in pain relief, rejuvenates cells, cures autism and increases the “drinking water energy level” (your guess is as good as ours) of any liquid poured over the disc. Man, who needs stinky ol’ medicine when you have a solid glass disc?
3. Water Activation Filter
This website claims that, “as we age, our body’s ability to convert water into the necessary single-file alignment dramatically decreases. Our body’s hydration becomes increasingly compromised.”
The website helps clarify what they mean with a useful diagram, and fortunately for this list it is exactly as ridiculous as it sounds: according to the makers, water molecules need to be lined up in a damned conga line in order to properly hydrate our bodies. Perhaps making the molecules dance helps with that whole “drinking water energy level” thing?
2. Wattgate 381 Audio Grade Duplex Receptacle Outlet
A receptacle outlet which supposedly improves the quality of sound of devices powered by it. To be clear, the receptacle outlet is the thing electrical cords plug into. Boasting 24k gold plating and “cryogenic heat-treated hardened contacts”, this device is perfect for facilitating the unhindered flow of electrons, thus achieving…better sound? More constant electricity? Happier electrons? Damned if we know.
1. Magnet Slimming Patch
This tiny magnetic patch sits in the user’s bellybutton (apparently the location of the body’s thinnest “belly-wall”) and “produces magnetic waves, which can pass through the skin 8-12cm in depth and do the meridian massage“. What precisely a meridian message consists of remains a rather ominous mystery to us, but supposedly the product is “applicable to simple obesity, puffiness or caused obesity by obesity and other irregular people.” Never mind the god-awful grammar there for a second; what the Hell are other irregular people?
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